1. The person whose barber went Moses-mode on their hair:
2. The person whose cake wasn’t exactly what they ordered:
3. The person who loves their neighbors very much, I’m sure:
4. The person whose stairs got a nice, new, beautiful coat of paint:
5. The person who maaaaay have stepped in a bit of mud:
6. The person whose new door will always have a slight breeze:
7. The person whose cake defies all logic and explanation:
8. The person who’s going to be enjoying some delicious roasted knife tonight:
9. The person who is about to write a whole thesis on spontaneous generation:
10. The person whose potatoes look like biohazard waste:
11. The person whose sausage is growing hair in unexpected places:
12. The person whose corn lost the eternal battle:
13. The person whose doctor is probably laughing with all their precious little doctor friends:
14. The person who is going to be absolutely GLIDING along their kitchen from now on:
15. The person who has the universe telling them “STAY OUT”:
16. The person who may have just invented a brand new type of pizza:
17. The person who will NEVER, ever play second fiddle to a cake again:
18. The person who is a little too casual about an ANT being in their EYE:
19. The person who had the UNTHINKABLE happen to them:
20. The person whose car miiiight need some work:
21. The person who will never pick up a pot all willy-nilly again:
22. And the person who will never bring a whole-ass SHEPHERD’S PIE to bed again:
